Dogging information:
Dogging Newbie
Advice
Dogging-Info.com
|
Dogging - First Contact: Do's and Dont's to
Replying to Personal Ads
By Tracy Brant at Dateable.com
You may have a great personal ad... and a wonderful smiling photo to go with
your ad... but things can still fall apart if you are sending out an awkward
first message in response to other people's ads. What can you do to make that
first message work for you?
DO:
Write in advance. This lets you think about what you want to say about yourself
and, more importantly, check your spelling and grammar. Have a friend read and
react to your draft message.
Spellcheck. Yes, this counts. It shows that you are serious about finding dates
and willing to pay attention to details. Some people are just natural bad
spellers, but it can make you look less smart or less educated than you really
are. Most websites do not offer spellchecking of profiles.
The Doggers Guide to Dogging says: Think about what kind of
ad you would respond to then write that ad for someone else to respond
to.
Personalize! We recommend writing a general template of a first message, but
you have to personalize it for each person you contact. Mention something from
their profile, ask a question that refers to something they wrote, or describe
how you would be a good match for them. Mention what attracted your attention
to their ad. No one wants to think they just received a form letter.
Write more than one line. "Liked your profile... want to chat?" This may be the
most commonly-sent message on a dating website... and the most ignored. You
need to say something else. Set yourself apart and say something interesting to
get a reply.
Use humor. If someone with a great personal ad is receiving lots of replies...
what will make yours stand out? A funny line might help. But if you have
noticed that people do not respond well to your brand of humor... save your
jokes for later.
Keep track of whom you've contacted. Don't write a series of letters to someone
who has not responded... you'll look desperate or like a stalker.
DON'T:
Don't demand personal info immediately. Certainly not if you have failed to
offered any details yourself. Go for a balance between talking about yourself
and asking about them.
The Doggers Guide to Dogging says: Men: Don't send a giant
picture of your penis. No one in thier right mind will respond seriously to
you.
Don't open with your last failed relationship. Sure, you have a dating history.
But talking about "game players, liars, and cheats" makes you sound a little
bitter. Don't sound like you are obsessed with past partners... or that you
think everyone will hurt you.
Don't open with sex. "Hi. You look sexy." Unless the person's ad specifically
says they only want a casual sexual relationship, it can easily sound vulgar
and rude. Women, in particular, typically delete those messages. When men get
letters like that, they often expect a link to a porn site to follow. Even on a
website that focuses on "adult activities," you need to do more than describe
your body or fantasies.
The Doggers Guide to Dogging says: Online dating is just like
real dating, you have to play the keys right for the tune to sound
good.
Don't write a novel. Sending out your life story as a first contact is going to
look odd. You need to write enough to sound like you have a life, not a book
you'd like to publish.
Don't open with "I hate online dating." It is amazing how many people open a
note with a line that condemns online dating sites and the people that use
them. You are talking to someone that uses a dating website! Do you really want
to immediately imply that they are desperate, dumb, or dangerous?
Don't ask for a phone number, address, or last name before you have even gotten
a reply from someone. You may be mistaken for a serial killer or a
telemarketer. Go slowly in asking for that sort of information; you don't want
to scare off prospective dates.
The Doggers Guide to Dogging says: I've actually gotten a
large number of watchers by putting a location and a date in my profile. Tell
them that you are going to put on a show and they will cum...Er...I mean
come.
|
